Toddler Style

I know; it’s been a while, blog peeps. I really don’t have much of an excuse. Basically, even after Irene hit, we’d mostly recovered, and I got back to working out, I still couldn’t bring myself to write any blog posts. Perhaps our bridge still being out has something to do with it. We do have a temporary foot bridge, but not a bridge we, or an oil truck, can drive over. Mind you, our biggest issue with this is heat and hot water. Basically, once we draw down all of the heat and hot water supplied by the oil presently in our tank, we’re out of both indefinitely until the new bridge is in and an oil truck can restock us. But to get back to the blog post at hand…

Over the last couple of days, a friend and I have been talking about discussing style and “prettiness” with our daughters. We’ve actually also been talking about how to discuss praise on action and in general as well, but for purposes of this blog post, I’m only discussing the style discussion presently.

Over the last year, a couple of articles have come out claiming that we, societally, must not praise our daughters’ looks, outfit coordination, etc. The articles aver that saying something as toxic as “you look pretty” can ruin a girl’s ability to attain any level of success in her future life. A number of folks I know have essentially said “hell yeah” in posting the article on Facebook and Twitter. I tend to disagree.

I’ve only begun thinking about the prettiness debate recently. As a mother of a toddler who likes to play dress up, and who thinks certain outfits and hair styles are prettier than others, I’ve hit the moral dilemma head on. Is it morally correct to buoy her emerging style by agreeing that something is pretty? Or is it possible that by doing so, I am relegating her to menial jobs, or lack thereof, for her entire life?

Okay, perhaps I’m over thinking this. It is a possibility. But if not, then it’s something that needs to be settled for my household. And I cannot believe that empowering her emerging sense of style can be anything other than positive and enriching for her.

I’m not saying that we should raise our daughters to be vain or in pageants. Rather, I’m simply saying that should be okay to embrace and extol a child’s femininity. A girl can play with trucks if she wants to, and she should also be allowed to play with dolls. As she finds her voice, it should be okay to tell her she looks pretty, even if it’s only to you.

I’m also not saying that she should solely be praised for her looks, so that she learns that she’ll be judged mostly for her looks throughout her life. Rather, I’m saying that it should be okay to praise her style right along with her deeds, manners and everything else she does, says and is. Women’s  empowerment does not have to be forcing success through one’s perception of a male molded world. Rather, one could argue that true women’s empowerment emboldens all of the pieces that make up that woman – including her personal style.